Target KNOWS…but last year they knew more.

So I think that October is my second favorite month, just a hair’s breadth behind May (May is my favorite for far too many reasons to list right now, and besides, I’m in the mood for autumn, not spring, dang it). One of the things I love about October is that it is the MONTH OF HALLOWEEN!

Yes, for an entire month I revel in autumn, in the bright yellow and orange leaves against that vivid blue sky and the way those leaves fall so charmingly to the ground. And the pumpkins. ALL the pumpkins. What is October without going to a garden center or driving past an apple orchard and seeing yards and yards of pumpkins lolling on the ground waiting to be bought? Few things are more cheery, or more nostalgic. And all of these things about autumn are, for me, inextricably connected to Halloween.

I’m sure you can all sympathize with the delight of going to various stores and seeing the Halloween displays. Now, my favorite store by far is Target. You see, Target KNOWS. It understands you. It has the best inexpensive fashions, the finest DVD deals, the most stylishly efficient cooking utensils, the chicest salt-and-pepper shakers (I have a pair that are the most darling little white china birds). Yes, my friends, Target knows. 

Anyhoo (how I digress!), I went there recently to check out their display.   And it seemed… simpler than last year’s.  Not as fun.  Target didn’t quite KNOW as well as last year.  For one thing, their Halloween signs all shouted “BAREBONES PRICES!  SWEET DEALS!”  Yeah, reminding me of how much I desperately need to save money really helps me feel childlike delight in the candy bowls with the moving green hands in the middle and the plastic skeletons who sing Monster Mash.

I am happy to report that the fake gravestones are the coolest they’ve ever been, and that the latest gargoyles look practically torn from a medieval cathedral.  However, all that was somewhat marred by the fact that against the wall behind the displays were shelves upon shelves of Christmas lights.

This year’s Target Halloween party theme is “Skulls Wearing Crowns.” 

Observe:

Now, this is a pretty cool theme.  I like how it hearkens back to the olden days of kings and queens, along with delivering the perhaps undesired philosophical thoughts about mortality (“Look upon me, for as I am ye also shall be!”  The kiddies will never be the same.).   Yet somehow, it doesn’t quite cut it.  Perhaps it’s because I grew up seeing “princess crowns” gracing everything from t-shirts to sparkly pink necklaces from Claire’s. 

The other big theme is the Skelanimals.  Those would be these:

Skelanimals are pictured on the banners hanging above the displays, and there is Skelanimals merchandise for sale.  But the really wierd part is, they had funky plastic picture frames on which were printed tiny Skelanimals and Halloween sayings like “Trick or Treat,” “Happy Halloween” and…”Sweet Deals!  Barebones Prices!”   Mmm-hmm.  Who is actually going to buy one of those frames??

But the Skelanimals are a step above last year’s…thing.  Some of you may remember the terror that was Domo, circa Target Halloween Display 2008:

Just what the heck was Domo?  I think he was a creature hatched from an egg, or something along those lines.  Whatever the case, Domo was wierd.  Domo did not make sense.  Domo did not belong.  Target should KNOW that Domo must not be allowed to exist ever, ever again.

Target, I will always love you and realize that you must occasionally stoop to what it beneath you in the effort to remain inventive.  But next year, please bring back those awesome orange paper plates with the fancy bat-and-curlicues designs on them.  They were sweet.