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October 18, 2009 Leave a comment

For not being Bush

 

I am still reeling a bit over the fact that Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize a week or so ago.  As even Democrats have stated, “WHY???”  All he has accomplished so far was to let his campaign managers use “HOPE” as a tagline.  And he moved troops to Afghanistan…and is probably about to add more troops (wait, I thought all of that was going to disappear once he was in office!  For shame!)  And he lifted the ban on federal funding for abortions in international countries a few days after his election.   This  doesn’t quite scream “peace” to me…

As regards the Nobel Peace Prize committee, by far the most enlightening thing about this puzzling news was that the nominations for the Peace Prize came out only twelve days after Obama was elected.

If anyone argues that Obama did in fact deserve the prize for what he has done in the approximately ten months of being president, well, I’m afraid that that argument is officially moot.

Here’s the really sad part.  All my life I have believed that a Nobel Prize was the most prestigious award a person could recieve.  It was a prize so grand, so lofty, that a person had only about a one in a billion chance of even being nominated for it.  It was a prize that elevated you to the heights of one of the gods on Mount Olympus.  It, in short, was the highest distinction any individual could hope to recieve.

Why did Obama win it?  Here’s the most likely answer: because he isn’t George W. Bush.

And now I can never view the Nobel Peace Prize in the same way again.  Because I have seen that personal prejudices–and liberal prejudices, at that–can influence the way they choose a candidate.  There is no objective evaluation of the worth of a person’s actions, only a very, very elite thumbing of the nose to George W. Bush.

This is your brain:

brain-internal-parts

This is your brain when you have gone waaay overboard on hating George W. Bush for eight straight years: 
bush-nazi-stupid-person

Any questions?

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Target KNOWS…but last year they knew more.

October 18, 2009 Leave a comment

So I think that October is my second favorite month, just a hair’s breadth behind May (May is my favorite for far too many reasons to list right now, and besides, I’m in the mood for autumn, not spring, dang it). One of the things I love about October is that it is the MONTH OF HALLOWEEN!

Yes, for an entire month I revel in autumn, in the bright yellow and orange leaves against that vivid blue sky and the way those leaves fall so charmingly to the ground. And the pumpkins. ALL the pumpkins. What is October without going to a garden center or driving past an apple orchard and seeing yards and yards of pumpkins lolling on the ground waiting to be bought? Few things are more cheery, or more nostalgic. And all of these things about autumn are, for me, inextricably connected to Halloween.

I’m sure you can all sympathize with the delight of going to various stores and seeing the Halloween displays. Now, my favorite store by far is Target. You see, Target KNOWS. It understands you. It has the best inexpensive fashions, the finest DVD deals, the most stylishly efficient cooking utensils, the chicest salt-and-pepper shakers (I have a pair that are the most darling little white china birds). Yes, my friends, Target knows. 

Anyhoo (how I digress!), I went there recently to check out their display.   And it seemed… simpler than last year’s.  Not as fun.  Target didn’t quite KNOW as well as last year.  For one thing, their Halloween signs all shouted “BAREBONES PRICES!  SWEET DEALS!”  Yeah, reminding me of how much I desperately need to save money really helps me feel childlike delight in the candy bowls with the moving green hands in the middle and the plastic skeletons who sing Monster Mash.

I am happy to report that the fake gravestones are the coolest they’ve ever been, and that the latest gargoyles look practically torn from a medieval cathedral.  However, all that was somewhat marred by the fact that against the wall behind the displays were shelves upon shelves of Christmas lights.

This year’s Target Halloween party theme is “Skulls Wearing Crowns.” 

Observe:

skullcookiejar

Now, this is a pretty cool theme.  I like how it hearkens back to the olden days of kings and queens, along with delivering the perhaps undesired philosophical thoughts about mortality (“Look upon me, for as I am ye also shall be!”  The kiddies will never be the same.).   Yet somehow, it doesn’t quite cut it.  Perhaps it’s because I grew up seeing “princess crowns” gracing everything from t-shirts to sparkly pink necklaces from Claire’s. 

The other big theme is the Skelanimals.  Those would be these:

skelanimals-info

Skelanimals are pictured on the banners hanging above the displays, and there is Skelanimals merchandise for sale.  But the really wierd part is, they had funky plastic picture frames on which were printed tiny Skelanimals and Halloween sayings like “Trick or Treat,” “Happy Halloween” and…”Sweet Deals!  Barebones Prices!”   Mmm-hmm.  Who is actually going to buy one of those frames??

But the Skelanimals are a step above last year’s…thing.  Some of you may remember the terror that was Domo, circa Target Halloween Display 2008:

DomoFront

Just what the heck was Domo?  I think he was a creature hatched from an egg, or something along those lines.  Whatever the case, Domo was wierd.  Domo did not make sense.  Domo did not belong.  Target should KNOW that Domo must not be allowed to exist ever, ever again.

Target, I will always love you and realize that you must occasionally stoop to what it beneath you in the effort to remain inventive.  But next year, please bring back those awesome orange paper plates with the fancy bat-and-curlicues designs on them.  They were sweet.